DC: I'm The Ultimate Lifeform

Chapter 34: Chapter 34



"There's a guy called the Batman Who Laughs?" I asked, raising an eyebrow in disbelief. My tone couldn't hide how weird I found the concept.

Rogue nodded without missing a beat, too engrossed in her food to notice my expression. Meanwhile, I glanced over at Batman. He sat silently at the edge of the table, not eating, while everyone else, both DC and Marvel heroes enjoyed their meals and casual conversation.

His stoic demeanor made the moment even stranger. It was almost like he was pretending the question hadn't been asked.

"I don't see it," I said, tilting my head slightly as I studied Batman. "A guy like him... laughing? Doesn't see it."

The thought alone felt absurd. With his perpetual scowl and the weight of his presence, it was hard to imagine a version of him doing anything as human as laughing, let alone embodying

it.

"Me too," Superman added, his voice calm but tinged with curiosity. He glanced over at Batman, his usually warm expression now clouded with the same skepticism I felt.

It was clear he was trying to reconcile the idea of his closest ally, the stoic, ever-serious Dark Knight, as someone known as the Batman Who Laughs. The very notion seemed almost comical, even to someone like Superman.

Batman, as expected, said nothing, his silence more telling than any words could be. If he had an opinion on the matter, he wasn't sharing it.

"That's because that Batman is from the Dark Multiverse," Rogue explained, casually between bites of her food. "Basically, a multiverse where everything that could go wrong, does go wrong. That Batman went around recruiting all the other evil Batmen from his twisted universe, building an army of nightmares."

She paused for effect, her tone shifting slightly. "Eventually, he even gained that blue guy's power, you know, Doctor Manhattan, and nearly destroyed the entire multiverse. But, in the end, he was defeated."

Her explanation left me stunned, my mind struggling to process the sheer absurdity of it all. "That Batman? Seriously?" I muttered, glancing back at the brooding Caped Crusader at the table.

"Plot armor? Seriously?" I said, blinking in disbelief. "How does one even deal with an outerversal being? If this isn't the biggest load of BS I've ever heard..."

The sheer absurdity of it left me reeling.

"It wasn't the original Doctor Manhattan," Rogue clarified, her tone measured as she set her fork down. "It was Bruce Wayne, another version of him, on the verge of gaining that power in his own universe. The Batman Who Laughs killed him just in time and stored his body away, planning to implant his own brain into it later. Even then, all he managed to get was a fragment of the original power."

Her words hung in the air, heavy with the sheer madness of it all. I sat there, stunned, trying to process the insanity of what she'd just said.

"You're telling me that psycho didn't just steal godlike power but did it Frankenstein-style?" I asked, still reeling.

Rogue shrugged, casually returning to her meal. "Pretty much."

"That's some bullshit," I said, my tone sharp enough to make Rogue pause mid-bite. Around the table, a few others glanced my way, clearly confused, or maybe just curious.

"If one Bruce Wayne can nearly gain such overwhelming power," I continued, leaning forward slightly, "then what's stopping another? Or two? Or three? Or four? All the way to infinity?" I rolled my eyes, letting the absurdity of it hang in the air. "Shouldn't there be an infinite number of Doctor Manhattans running around in an infinite upon infinite multiverse?"

The room fell quiet for a moment. Rogue frowned, clearly trying to piece together a response, while others avoided eye contact, unwilling to wade into the philosophical mess I'd just unleashed.

"Well," Rogue finally said, "when you put it like that..."

"We should stop this guy before it's too late," Powergirl said firmly, pushing her chair back and rising to her feet. "We can deal with the whole infinite Doctor Manhattans running around later."

Her determination was palpable, but I couldn't muster the same enthusiasm. Instead, I sighed, leaning back in my chair with a bored expression. This wasn't my problem, or at least, it wasn't something I wanted to deal with.

Honestly, chasing down some multiversal threat didn't hold a candle to what I actually wanted: tracking down Lantern Rings. That had been the plan before I got dragged into this mess. All I wanted was to focus on my collection before something else shiny and cool distracted me again.

"You guys go ahead," I said, waving them off lazily. "I need to get back to my multiverse and actually get some work done." I sighed, rubbing my chin thoughtfully. "If only I had someone to help me make a decent to-do list..."

Before anyone could respond, I grabbed a burger from the table and took a large, satisfying bite.

"Say no more, Heaven's Daddy!" three voices cried in unison.

I froze mid-bite, my eyes widening as I turned to see the source of the commotion. Standing before me were the three Fate Sisters, each dressed impeccably in tailored suits that radiated authority and elegance.

The eldest sister had undergone a remarkable transformation, shedding her usual appearance for a youthful and vibrant look that matched her siblings. All three of them were stunning, their beauty nothing short of godly, as if they'd stepped straight out of a celestial painting. "You three are perfect," I said, nodding in approval as I leaned back in my chair, exuding an air of authority. "It's only reasonable that Fate itself should be under my control."

The words rolled off my tongue with ease, as though the universe itself had already agreed to this truth. I took another bite of my burger, satisfied not only with the taste but with the way the moment seemed to fall perfectly into place.

"Are we just going to ignore the fact that they keep calling him Heaven's Daddy?" Supergirl blurted out, her voice rising in disbelief as she glanced around the room.

She looked utterly speechless, her wide eyes darting from face to face, searching for someone to share in her bewilderment. But to her frustration, everyone else seemed entirely unbothered by the bizarre title... yet they were avoiding her gaze.

I smirked, taking another bite of my burger. "Don't worry about it, Kid," I said, waving her off

casually.

Supergirl's eyes narrowed, her frustration bubbling to the surface. She hated being called a kid, especially when Powergirl was around, practically radiating smugness as if to remind everyone that she was the older, more mature version of Kara.

"Kid?" Supergirl repeated, her voice sharp, as she shot me a glare. "Care to run that by men/o/vel/b//in dot c//om

again?"

"Nope," I said with a shrug, popping the p for emphasis. "Well, gotta return to my Earth.

Good luck with your whole journey to save stuff... or whatever it is you're doing. Honestly, I forgot your goals." Shaking my head, I dismissed the thought as irrelevant and casually

teleported away, taking the Fates with me.

Unbeknownst to me, Rogue's face fell, her expression clouded with disappointment. She'd wanted to tag along, maybe even hoped I'd invite her. But, of course, I hadn't noticed. If I had, I'd have been all too happy to bring her along for the ride.